Tag Dr. Wife

Tips for Living off a Residents Income

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One of the biggest misconceptions of residency is the pay! Most people assume that once you graduate from medical school and become a doctor that you’re rich! Well I am here to tell you that… it’s not true! Residents earn a decent income however, in our case, I am a stay at home mom, so that residents income has to stretch for a family of five! If you add up the long hours and the fact that on many weeks my husband only has one day off then his salary ends up being less than minimum wage! Yeah, you read that correctly! Less than minimum wage, folks! So as you can see residency life is not easy and it takes some creative planning to survive. Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way!
 
You Need a Budget!– If you don’t have a budget yet it’s time to start! Now a days there is an app for everything including creating a budget that works for you. Some months our budget is a hot mess because life happens like unexpectedly needing to replace tires on our car! Try to create a nest egg for yourself, even if it means you can only put away $10 every paycheck. This nest egg will not only come in handy for the future but it also comes in handy for when the holidays come around.
 
Shop Smart– Since I stay at home, I do all the shopping. I coupon, I read flyers, I stay on top of the weekly ads. I love reward programs that give you points or cash back for purchases. I even use reusable bags to save a few cents. I shop at multiple stores each week for things like household items and food (I know it sounds crazy!) If you hate to shop, don’t worry! Many stores now offer to do the shopping for you and some will even deliver to your home. All of these things require me to plan ahead and can be time-consuming. The savings add up over time so trust me when I say it’s worth it!
 
Cut out extra spending– To save money we rent movies instead of going to the movie theater. If we do splurge to see a flick we go on a weekday to take advantage of special deals like buy one get one free. We also only eat out one night a week and, you guessed it, we eat out with a coupon or on kids eat free nights! You have no idea how hard this is for us since we like to eat how feel, haha! I also keep an ongoing list of things we need for our house or for ourselves that over time we purchase when we have money left over in our budget.
 
Buy Secondhand– We have growing kids who always seem to need something. I consign most of my kiddos clothing and toys. I love to shop consignment store deals during off seasons and stock up for the following year. By doing this I’ve saved hundreds! Clothing isn’t the only thing we buy secondhand we also buy used furniture and toys from yard sales and online marketplaces.
 
Being in residency is like a real life version of survivor except nobody gets voted off the island. Instead you have to learn to survive with the cards that are dealt to you. You will find ways to help make life easier and over time it does get better. Residency is very much like medical school in which the days are long but the years are short. It will be over before you know it and you will be back to making a decent income once again. Just know that you can do this! It’s not easy, but you got this! For more money saving tricks, check out my article Shopping on a Med Student budget!  Be sure to comment below your tips and tricks you have used along the way to help get you and your family!
 
 
Happy Survivin’
 
 
Disclaimer: This article is based on my own experiences and opinions.

Dear Fourth Year Medical Student Spouse…

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Dear Fourth Year Medical Student Spouse and Significant Others,

First, I just want to tell you that I see you and all the hard work you do. You are amazing and your loved ones would not be the able to be the best darn doctor they can be if it were not for your support too, so thank you for all that you do! You are the real MVP behind the white coat! Congratulations on making it through medical school and now onward and upward to the next new adventure and new beginning… residency!

Currently we are about to go into our second year of residency (Yayyyyy!!!).  Residency is hard, there is no question about that! Intern year is by far the worst year of this journey for us. Many of us have to move across the country with relatively short notice and leave behind all of our family and friends. We then have to start over again in a new town, often feeling alone and scared. The advantage of starting is over is exactly that, a clean slate, a fresh start. A chance to begin again. For us this is our next chapter in our medical journey and we hope it brings us peace. But I am not going to lie to you, it is hard at times. The hours are awful! Your spouse is now at the bottom of the totem pole. The pager will now be your worst nightmare and don’t even get me started on the dreaded words “on call” and “overnights”. All of these things you didn’t have to deal with in medical school are now going to be part of your new normal and it’s going to be a difficult change even for the most seasoned couple. Hang in there, friend!

Even though, this medical journey can be challenging at times. It will get better over time. Just be patient. As I’ve said in the past, find your tribe (I hope you heard me in the back or I will say it again!), don’t be afraid to call upon them when you need something or even just a shoulder to cry on. People will admire your strength and those that truly have your back will be the ones to catch you when you fall. So, if you fall, dust yourself off and stand back up! But don’t be afraid to ask for help!

When we first started our medical journey I would often hear other medical spouses talk about how they resented their spouse for putting their family through this grueling lifestyle. I am often taken back by these comments. When I married my husband almost ten years ago I knew he wanted to be a doctor. I knew some of the challenges we would face. I was the one who pushed my husband to apply to medical school. I felt like if he was passionate enough about this dream then he should pursue it. Even though at times this journey has been more than challenging, it has been important for my husband and I to remain on the same team. We both made the plan to pursue this life. We both agreed on his match list. We both know that residency is just temporary. So when those feelings of resentment start to creep up on me, I just remember that this was just as much my decision as it was his. Talk with your spouse about your struggles. Make a list of things they can do to help you, this can be as simple as listening to you vent or taking out the trash. Marriage is hard work and it requires constant up keep so be sure to work as a team! Always be each other’s biggest cheerleader!

I often have to remind myself that this medical journey is a long one and it is important not to put your life on hold. Being a wife and a mother is often a selfless job. We sometimes have to sacrifice our own happiness for others. Some days are harder than others but remember that someday all of this will be worth it. Live in the moment and just take it one day at a time but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Sometimes just working on being the best version of yourself is enough.

Remember that everyone’s medical journey is different but we all have the same end goal to help our medical spouses live their dream of helping others, and if your ever in Florida let’s go visit Mickey Mouse and grab a Dole Whip!

Warmly,

Your Fellow Dr. Wife in Training